Escaping the March Madness

March 30, 2012 • Trudel Pare, Opinions Editor  
Filed under Humor & Leisure

With March Madness revving up, it is often difficult to find activities other than watching or playing basketball. However, since not everyone enjoys that lovely sport, a list of alternative pastimes has been compiled here at the St. Clairion for those so inclined to participate in something other than basketball.

1. Watching a Forensics Tournament. The Upper St. Clair Forensics team is very good this year, and dressing up in a suit on a Saturday in order to go listen to speeches on current events is a great alternative to sitting in pajamas and watching March Madness. Events include Original Oratory, Public Forum Debate, Prose, Poetry, and Humorous Interpretation of Literature. As if this wasn’t advertisement enough, who doesn’t love going to a high school on a Saturday? Since the answer to that is probably everyone, it’s lucky for our readers that the next tournament USC is attending will be States at Susquehanna University! Driving four hours to this tournament could take up the amount of time covered by two basketball games easily.

2. Going Outside. While this is something of a lost art among high-schoolers, most of whom have large amounts of homework, going outside can help our more basketball-phobic readers avoid the sport. As long as all outdoor parks containing asphalt are avoided, basketball can be easily evaded outside. Outdoor activities include camping (preferably with a tent), watching grass grow, or watching paint dry. Going on walks and bike riding are also alternatives to watching basketball, albeit not as entertaining as the aforementioned outdoor activities.

3. Reading the Dictionary. Reading is something of an undervalued art in high school, unless textbooks or assigned readings count, and most people don’t count those as a pastime. The dictionary is a work of literature to rival its sibling, the thesaurus, and makes for reading that is almost as riveting as the phone book. So if March madness puts our readers to sleep, try the dictionary. That isn’t half as soporific.

4. Watching Baseball. As fascinating a sport as basketball is, more interesting sports include baseball, golf, and horseshoes. If watching sports and lounging on the couch happens to be the only available option on a Saturday, there are a variety of other, more entertaining sports on television.

5. Lifetime movies are also an option for those who dislike organized sports or simply don’t want to take part in the madness that is March.

In conclusion, March Madness does not have to be all-encompassing. Basketball does not have to be the only pastime in this month; there are other activities to participate in during this month. Just make sure that while avoiding March madness, the evasion of that frenzy does not become madness in and of itself.


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