Sizzling Singles: The Above 5’11” Edition
May 3, 2016
Sizzling Singles *Above 5’11” Edition
Max Schuler (Sophomore) Height: 6’4″ Nickname: “Bologna”, “Chalk”, “Oregano”, “Kyle”Turn-ons: can burp the ABC’s, carries around a pocket Constitution, can do a mean Cotton-Eyed Joe Turn-offs: not 6’4″, looks bad in the color orange, doesn’t own a Jansport backpack Talents: can make anything out of paper mache, breathing Kiss on the first date?: I thought everyone did that? First date outfit?:jorts, and only jorts Celebrity Crush: myself circa 2009 in the Kenny Ross commercial Favorite pickup line: Roses are red, bananas are yellow, wanna go out with a nice little fellow? Favorite personal attribute: I’m a sixteen year old that looks ten Favorite quote: “At Kenny Ross, cars go fast!” Where do you see yourself in 5 years: taking over Kenny Ross Favorite skittle color: red, it reminds me of love Do you know the true meaning of love?: I look like I’m ten |
Carey Stief (Junior) Height: 5’11 ¾” Nicknames: “Daddy Long Legs,” “Tree,” “Giraffe” Turn-ons: height, humor, hair (and rich) Turn-offs: mouth breathing, finger licking, leg bouncing, shortness, people who don’t like my pug, bad teeth Talents: crying over dogs, crying over Grey’s Anatomy, crying in spanish, speed reading A song that describes your life: I’m a Little TeapotWhat are you going to be when you’re older?: I’m marrying richWould you consider yourself passive or aggressive?: I’m the human equivalent to a flaming hot Cheeto If you were stranded on a desert island, what three items would you bring with you?: a riding John Deere lawn mower, some matches, & my old Spanish binder (to use as kindling in my fire) A quote that describes you: “If you say you’re cooler than me, does that make me hotter than you?” Do you believe in love at first sight?: yes, I look at myself in the mirror every day |
Jack O’Leary (Junior) Height: 6’3” Nickname: “The Beanstalk”, “Juicy” Turn-ons: a great personality, a big heart, golf clothes, can parallel parkTurn-offs: golfers tan, if she’s smarter than me, average height Talents: can hold breath for almost 30 seconds, can bowl a slimy strike What do you look for in a girl?: profound knuckles, a second toe that’s longer than the first, wears winged eyeliner What makes you special?: I’m like a modern day Jack Dawson, but better Favorite pickup line: Guess what I’m wearing? The smile that you gave meDescribe your perfect date: she picks me up, we hit the gym, and then we hit up Hooters to get them gainz Celebrity Crush: Meghan Trainor A quote that describes you: “Uuuuuuuuur Ahhhhhhrrrrrrr Uhrrrr Ahhhhhrrrrr Aaaarhg…” – Chewbacca Over ten people a year die due to vending machine related injuries. What do you think about this statistic?: What? |